Have you ever wondered what makes cheating spouses
cheat in the first place? They certainly didn't get married
with the intention of being unfaithful to their spouse, so
why did they do it?
Many "infidelity experts" on the internet these
days are offering solutions on how to find PROOF that
will expose your spouse or catch them "in the act". But
instead of putting 100% of your effort in finding solid
proof, your energy would be better spent understanding
what went wrong in your marriage.
It's fairly common for "chronic" cheating spouses to
give up on a relationship the moment things start to
become a little difficult.
Rather than admitting and accepting that there's a
problem in their marriage, they look for someone else
to fulfill their needs. These "needs" could be anything
from a physical connection to strictly intellectual
relations leading to an emotional affair.
Affairs take place because one spouse's needs are no
longer being met by their partner. Cheating spouses are
then drawn to someone else who WILL (temporarily) meet
those needs.
What increases the chance of an affair taking place
is when a man marries a woman who idealizes love and
spends her whole life going in and out of marriages in
search of her "perfect soul mate".
Soul mates may exist in romance movies but in real
life, it takes work to create a lasting
relationship.
Like it or not, marriage is WORK…but it doesn't have
to be "hard" work.
If you want win your spouse over after an affair,
you need to know how to meet his/her needs.
Every couple goes into marriage with expectations of
each other that are NEVER CLEARLY DISCUSSED simply
because they don't REALLY understand, nor can they
clearly explain what their own expectations are…let
alone their spouses!
Cheating spouses cheat because they're in search of
unmet, yet unspoken deep emotional needs. It's as
simple as this…..
If YOU aren't meeting your spouse's needs, they will
find SOMEONE ELSE who WILL!
This fact is also one of the reasons why most
affairs don't last. Let me explain…
When your spouse met this other man/woman, they
THOUGHT that this other person was meeting their needs,
but what was really happening is they were blinded by
the "Romance" stage of a relationship.
You and your spouse went through this stage also. If
you think back to the beginning of your relationship,
you may not have noticed at the time, but the two of
you were on your BEST behavior.
Looking back, it might even seem like your spouse
was a different person back then.
The reason?
There is actually a chemical released in your brain
that makes you feel "infatuated" with this other
person. It would even be safe to say that cheating
spouses can't think straight when they're caught up in
this "biological phenomenon".
This is also why some couples make irrational
decisions early in their relationship, like going off
to Las Vegas and getting married on a whim. Down the
road, after the Romance stage of their relationship is
over, many of these couples eventually get
divorced.
So if you're worried that your cheating spouse is
"in love" with this other person, chances are, the
affair is VERY short lived…which means you STILL have a
chance to win over your spouse!
You owe it to yourself (and your children if you have
them) to give your marriage a second chance. In fact,
here's a statistic that might give you some
inspiration….
A study from the Institute for American Values found
that "almost eight out of 10 couples who avoided
divorce were happily married five years later."
If you can just get over this affair, this obstacle
in your marriage, and start meeting each other's needs,
I promise you, your marriage will be much stronger and
more fulfilling than it was…even BEFORE the affair took
place.
Larry Bilotta special report, The Secret Path to
Divorce, shows you how to recognize the WARNING SIGNS
that lead to divorce…before it’s too late to save your
marriage. Get your FREE Report at http://www.stopyourdivorcein4weeks.com