When you spy on your suspected cheating spouse,
please make sure you consider all the possibilities you
might encounter and whether you can handle them.
Have you considered the many situations that
spying might uncover? Can you imagine the worst thing
you might find? Predict what your response will be to
the worst-case scenario. Are you ready? Here are some
specific questions to ask:
1) Do I have friends I can count on for support if I
discover the worst? Do they know I might need them?
Have I told them exactly how they might help me? Do I
have the capacity to stand back from the deep emotions
and not get mired or lost in destructive thoughts and
feelings?
2) How have I handled emotional pain in the past?
What if it gets almost unbearable? If I encounter the
worst possible emotional hurt and pain, do I have a
therapist I can contact immediately and see soon to
help me through the rough spots?
3) You see the signs of a cheating spouse. What will
be my strategy for what I find? Do I have a strategy
for the different scenarios? Do I have a strategy to
confront or not confront my spouse? How, when and under
what circumstances will I confront him/her?
4) What kind of strategy will I have for self-care?
What will I need to do to keep myself functioning
somewhat effectively?
5) Do I have a coach or an objective someone who
knows about cheating husbands and cheating wives and
who can help me develop strategies and goals for
confrontation and self-care? Someone to keep me focused
and working on these strategies and goals?
6) Do I know what kind of affair I might face? Do I
know the prognosis for that kind of affair? Have I
educated myself about affairs and what I must do to
effectively resolve and move through this crisis?
About The Author Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity
Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two
decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and
survive infidelity. Visit his website by clicking
here.